


Smoke and Mirrors

by othersin



Series: demon baphomet and the bird-brain archangel [1]
Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Angel Crowley (Good Omens), Demon Aziraphale (Good Omens), Idols, M/M, Reverse Omens, Shapeshifting, Worship, a lot of goat like gods in history, all the angels are demons, all the demons are angels, baphomet - Freeform, faunus, goat demon, humans like having options, satanic goat, smoke and mirrors
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-01
Updated: 2020-03-01
Packaged: 2021-02-27 18:47:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,899
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22970494
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/othersin/pseuds/othersin
Summary: Anthony Crowley, the former and disgraced archangel is earthbound with the simple mission to track the movements of  a powerful demon that had been known to cause mischief and destruction where his  hooves touch, currently earthbound too.Crowley had one job, keep an eye on the demon and summon a Power to smite the creature – however, instead he finds a pudgy curly haired lesser demon with, very drunk and muttering to himself. The pitiful demon, a creature by the name of Aziraphale, invites the angel to share a drink.
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens), Beelzebub/Gabriel (Good Omens), Hastur/Ligur (Good Omens)
Series: demon baphomet and the bird-brain archangel [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1680046
Comments: 8
Kudos: 105





	Smoke and Mirrors

* * *

Crowley found himself shift uncomfortably in his corporeal form – it had taken some getting used to but it seemed he finally got used to the cramped feeling, walking though the busy roman streets. He had forgone his long red hair that he had worn when he was in heaven or Eden and replaced it with the fashion at the time – he caught a few curious looks at such a vibrant colour and how his eyes shone like liquid gold in the Mediterranean sun. Dressed as a scholar or a teacher in the grayish white toga worn as the fashion as those members in society, so no one would cast a sidelong glance at the golden scale he was balancing by its point in his palm, watching carefully for a change each side with a bell that would sound out – it had been balanced and silent for a while now, not really pinpointing where the surge of demonic energy would have manifested.

Crowley had a sinking suspicion that Hastur had sent him on a wild goose chase – yes, Crowley was certain the other hated him for not falling from grace; still with the semi useless title of Archangel. The others loved to bring up how gracious god was for letting him stay an angel, how thankful he should be to breathe in the same air as them.

Probably having a big pile of laughs at his expense, sending Crowley around the world on the mere rumor of a demon causing trouble, yes, send the healer who has had no active battle experience tracking and smiting a demon besides that one time out of sheer panic knocking an imp unconscious with his staff. The imp was blind with a missing leg – Crowley felt so horrible that he apologized to the unconscious imp.

But it was not like he could refuse the assignments during his time of ‘thinking about what he did, and repenting.’

Technically still an archangel just on a bit of disciplinary leave of his post and name for the next couple of thousand of years – Beelzebub of course called for him to fall, as well as the others sans Lucifer who was requesting the word of God to speak on this matter before the others decided to just throw him out to the demons below.

Well, Crowley did not practically care for Hell nor did he want to come face to face with the Fallen that he may or may not have been a silent witness in their plummet to Hell. He shuddered to think what Gabriel would do to him if he came across his former kin, the former messenger of god didn’t like the healer of god on a good day in heaven – a bad day in hell would surely end in tears.

How was he to know that the apple tree in the garden of Eden was not supposed to be eaten? God liked to keep that little tidbit to herself and the humans, and even when Eve was gathering food – he simply advised that there was an apple tree, which was food, she just thanked him. Not one peep about how, ‘god warned them to not eat the fruit on that tree.’ Nope. Not one word.

Next thing he knew, the humans had been booted from the garden, Hastur, a frightful member of Powers, coming down and demanding what did he do before he was whisked off the wall and back into heaven, all of his peers staring down at him in fury. There was a trial and everything or more like the other archangels circling him like vultures and screaming at him, even demanding where he got a flaming sword that was in the new humans hands, assuming that as well as mistakenly directing Eve to eat the fruit of knowledge he had somehow taken a sword too to give the humans.

Lucifer had been the one to quiet everyone so Crowley could get his say in at least.

Crowley had never been given a flaming sword so that is what he advised him, he is a healer, why would he be gifted a sword? – God herself then advised the angry archangels calmly that it was not Crowley that stole the sword, but did not say who but it was implied that god knew who did, she also decreed while it was a stupid thing he had done; it had been done from a place of love not with malicious intent or sabotage.

Lucifer had then decreed that Crowley would not be allowed to refer to himself in his angelic name nor do miracles in that name, and remain earthbound to do fieldwork instead as punishment – till they are satisfied he has earned back his god given name and could be welcomed back to his healing duties.

Besides the running around and the constant belittling, Crowley didn’t mind earth or the humans – sure there had been some hiccups here or there (the whole Cain and Abel thing, the great flood etc) but Crowley had to perhaps his tiny mistake may have been for the best? But who is to say?

Humans created marvelous art, food, games, stories and he could not forget about the wine – the other angels further found it odd how he actively joined in with the children’s games, admired the ideas, art and partook in celebrations with them which had good wine and food. He found he quite liked the wine, but food was still an odd one for him – he just could not get his mind around the texture but to appear normal or human he did eat on occasion.

Earth had become a little more interesting than heaven so his extended stay on earth wasn’t that much of a punishment – except for the nagging worry that he would run into a demon, said demon wouldn’t be like the lame one he encountered, it would be big, scary, with fangs, claws and possibly very unhygienic.

Hastur had only just gave him a description and the scales, look out for a large demon he said – perhaps over six feet tall or even more or less (Hastur had muttered something about the other able to shift shape or even size) with the bipedal human features of both masculine and the feminine with the head of a black goat – between his horns a ball of blue flames. Pretty much Crowley’s worst imagined demon, in the flesh so to speak.

“I must stress, this demon is no mere imp that you can knock unconscious with a startled reaction.” Hastur sneered, looking pointedly at the red head who had progressively more and more alarmed, “It preys on the humans nature to create idols, their greed and gluttony, the humans in this city have started to spread word of the god 'Faunus' coming to bless them with his presence – their belief in him strengthens his own demonic powers and he finds sick amusement in leading humans astray, he is strong and an adept spell caster and occult maker.”

“So…the demon should be easy to find though – if he looks like a giant humanoid goat headed thing.” Crowley muttered, staring at the divine set of scales – wouldn’t really look that out of place in a place where they counted gold or even weighed medicine.

“Surely, even a fool like you should be able to find him visually alone – but that scale should be able to pinpoint when he makes his presence known” Hastur stared at the scale with a frown, “Lucifer also advised me that under no circumstance are you to approach the demon, he is a wily foe and would surely strike you down on sight – he instructs you to summon me immediately to smite him.”

Hastur seemed reluctant to offer that advice to Crowley, Crowley silently thanked Lucifer for making the other to carry on his message.

“Duly noted.” Crowley said to the grumpy Power, who cast him one last disparaging look and left with the sound of chiming bells.

Well at least one of the archangels didn’t want Crowley to be sent back to heaven, but it was perhaps more so that Lucifer did not want to deal with the paperwork that came involved if Crowley did get on the wrong side of a demon – but Crowley was happy to leave the smiting to the Power but the leg work of finding the demon and tracking the dark minion still gave Crowley severe anxiety and his bodies heart was doing palpitations when the scale shifted and turned slightly picking up the faint dark energy spiking in the atmosphere.

He was just hoping perhaps the demon had other things to do, maybe already finished his mischief – not to come back to the scene of the crime. The loud ringing sound echoed around the angel, causing him to freeze to stare warily at the scale – the sound only audible to angels and probably annoying enough to cause a ringing in the occult’s ears, finding himself staring at a ornate villa with many humans in stages of overindulgence and drunkenness, the party inside had moved to outside as well as it seemed.

A perfect haunt for a demon, especially for a demon that the locals mistook as one of their many gods – Crowley looked to the wine that freely flowed into cups, the stress of the situation making him wish to partake in his own earthly vice but at the same time he needed to have his wits about him if he did see the demon.

Loud laughter broke his train of thought as a gaggle swayed of the roman elite, all buzzed on good drink and food surrounded the figure in a darkly dyed toga wrapped around his form, golden wreath of laurel which mimicked that of an angelic halo – the figure was slightly pudgy, a life of feasts and decadence with neatly blond white curls.

Round face almost cherub in appearance, with rosy cheeks and wine stained lips gave the disgraced angel some pause – he looked down to his scale, it was practically vibrating in his hand, pointing at the figure who seemed to happily stagger away from his companions. Crowley found the other with had a pleasing corporeal form, and was approachable compared with Crowley's uneasy smile and sharp angle's.

Crowley was a little puzzled, this fellow didn’t look like a demon – with how the other swayed on his feet as he ambled away from the orgy and feast of decadence, the scale that Hastur gave him was saying as clear as day that man was a demon but surely not the one that Hastur warned him about.

A minion or a lesser demon that probably knew of the location of the large demon lord – he just needed to get the other to talk and he could send Hastur off to deal with it, and Crowley could return to his enjoyment of the human way of life.

Curiosity getting the best of him, he followed the other from a distance away – the other seemed to stagger to the wall and slide down into a limp stupor, cool blue eyes hazy with drink; the strange shape of the pupils finally seemed to pinpoint on the redhead. He raised his hands irritated to his ears and muttered,

“Could you be a dear and do something about that ringing noise – it is doing horrid things to my head…” He moaned out, like the sound was giving him a headache or a migraine.

Crowley did not, glaring at the slumped figure.

“Well, get it over with…I don’t have all day.” He continued, sighing, “Not very sporting, catching me like this – downstairs is going to have a good old laugh.” He was expecting Crowley to smite him, the demon was accepting of his fate. Crowley summoned his staff, a long one decorated with wings and curling with snakes – not made for smiting but the other didn’t know that.

“Fiend I have no interest in you.” Crowley pointed the staff at the other, trying to be intimidating – mimicking how he had seen Beelzebub interact with demons they encountered, it seemed to be working, the other was not catching on his bluff.

“Oh…?” The lesser demon muttered, “That’s a first…”

“I have interest in your lord and master that has prowled this city, playing as an idol to these people.”

“My lord and master…?” The lesser demon hummed confused, looking still out of it – but goat eyes widening as the staff was pushed closer to his face.

“Don’t play dumb with me, demon – the monstrous demon that the locals call Faunus.”

“…” the blue eyes flicked to the archangel and back to the staff.

“Speak of where he is demon, and I may spare you.” Crowley demanded, praying the other did not call his bluff – the other was still quite drunk and Crowley was certain he was stronger than the other if he needed to fight the other off.

“Oh, so its Faunus you’re looking for…” The other said slowly, stroking his chin in a thoughtful matter, a strange smile but with the way his eyes crinkled at the side it was though he was trying to stop laughing – like something was a funny joke.

“Yes.”

“Well, why didn’t you say so – sad to say you just missed him, he was prowling in the forest causing all sorts of mischief for hell before he returned to whence, he came.” The demon cooed; Crowley frowned at that – the other wasn’t lying nor was he telling the truth from what he could sense.

“Afraid you went to all this trouble to hit a dead-end.” The demon huffed pooling himself up, “No, I believe I can take my leave – I must finish this night of overt decadence with those delightful oysters, so if you don’t mind my dear archangel, this old tempter will bid you a goodnight.”

“I am an angel of my word, and I shan’t harm you tonight – but you’ve just exited from a party and you still seek more?” Crowley couldn’t help but mutter ludicrously.

“I’m a demon of gluttony, what do you expect?” The other shrugged, eyeing the scale disdainfully, “I may recall some of master ‘Faunus’s’ places of apparition if you wish to join me for some wine and sup of oysters?”

“What is this?” Crowley snapped, distrusting the other – besides the demonic presence the other exuded with, the intention in that offer was masked carefully but it seemed genuine.

“An invite with the possibility that you may have something to report back to your head office – how would they take it if you tell them you just missed him?” the demon slurred, “If I had an assignment and told my boss that, they would flay me open.”

Crowley flinched at that, he didn’t want to think what Hastur would do or say if he returned with no news of the demon he was supposed to capture – lest advise he tracked down instead a simple tempter class demon. But the other was advising he was willing to tell the other the demons’ movements, just at the cost of joining the other for supper.

“Very well, but know this – if you are to deceive me, you shall be stuck down where you stand.” Crowley lowly threatened, eyes blazing with holy light before making his staff disappear back into the ether.

“Sounds delightful…” The demon giggled, beckoning the other to follow him – just barely keeping himself upright by holding the wall.

“What, pray tell, does the crimson haired archangel prefer to go by?”

“…” Crowley paused, there was no harm giving the name he had chosen for himself he supposed, “Crowley. You can call me Crowley.”

“Not a very angelic name…” The demon hummed, “You can call me Aziraphale…”

“Not a very demonic name.”

“Touché.”

* * *

Crowley was uncertain whether or not he had seen a creature, mortal or even immortal eat as much as Aziraphale did – the wine however was good and the company that the lower demon provided was a breath of fresh air, voice still slurring a tad and seemed to ramble on about senseless things. But Crowley found himself smiling and stifling some laughs the other caused, speaking of demons and humans the angel knew not of but they were the unfortunate characters in some funny stories the demon spun.

“Do all demons eat as much as you?” The wine loosened the angels tongue a bit, before he could stop the blunt or even rude question leave his mouth.

“What, are you calling me fat?” Aziraphale said, messily wiping his mouth with the back of his hand – Crowley winced at the mess.

“No, I would never – just I’ve never been in company of a demon for an extended amount of time…too busy smiting them.” Crowley said sipping his wine, pushing his tough angel persona still, adding that last bit for sense of mind -while the wine may have loosened the angel’s inhibitions it did not stop his need to make sure the other decided to not make a jump at him.

“No, not all demons eat as much as I…” Aziraphale hummed, finally answering, taking a swig of his wine – pausing his feast of oysters and good bread that he dipped in the fish liquor of the salty oysters. The demon had noticed the other had not really attempted to eat the shellfish, bluish eyes glinting in the faint light of the open, seaside facing restaurant.

“One last present the almighty decided to bestow on me before I fell…” Aziraphale picked up the sharp knife he had been using to shuck the hardy shells and gestured plunging it in his gut, it made the healer wince, “ I will not find satisfaction in wine, food or pleasure of the flesh – I can gorge myself stupid on those things, but it will never quench my hunger, doomed to feel hollow inside for the rest of my infernal life.”

Crowley paused at that, he could barely imagine how horrid that would be - but he shook away the feelings of pity he felt for the other, the other probably deserved it. But even thinking that left a bad taste in the angels mouth, needing to drink more wine to wash it away.

Aziraphale then stabbed the bread in a darkening of his mood, making the archangel jump slightly – Aziraphale returned to his cheerful if not a little forced drunk self as he took the knife and began to cut a thick slice and offer it to the archangel.

“Please eat, the bread is divine dipped in the wine.”

Crowley took the bread and idly followed the others directions, tearing the bread into smaller pieces did he finally ask,

“About the demon that the locals call Faunus…” Crowley returned to the problem at hand to break the awkward silence that befell the pair.

“What did they tell you the demon look like?” Aziraphale hummed, a curious lilt to his tone.

“Monstrous, that I would know by the mere sight of him.” Crowley answered simply.

“Monstrous…yeah, I suppose that’s a fitting title.” There was something sad in Aziraphale’s tone but it was gone in an instant.

“I joined you for supper and spared your life, tell me of where he usually appears.” Crowley muttered, idly dipping the bread in the wine. The texture of oysters was something that Crowley disliked but he found some pleasure in eating the bread and wine together. The demon’s own eyes seemed to light up in hungry delight at watching him partake too – Crowley tried not to stare too deep in the strange eyes of the other.

“Where there are humans, he loves cities, he loves playing the part – a trickster, a pretender.” Aziraphale explained vaguely, “The temples, he likes showing up in the temples – he is a show-off, a magician…he wants to show the humans that God is not the only way, that he could show them another way, a fun way.”

“That’s a blasphemy.” Crowley hissed out, making the other only shrug.

“Yes well, that’s a matter of opinion isn’t it?” Aziraphale patted his stomach, in feigned fullness– eyes drifting appreciatively to one of the serving boys. Crowley felt his cheeks become hot at that look, the look he had seen other men and woman give him – he had been around long enough to know what that that ravenous look entailed, though the strange feeling at how the other seemed to lose interest in their conversation.

“You didn’t hear it from me, but there is going to be a meet up with demon that goes by Faunus and other demons in the catacombs -if I was still an angel, I would do a surprise attack with some Powers and what not.” Aziraphale said, leering at the mortal who just noticed his attentions whom flushed and smiled softly at the other.

“And why tell me this?” Crowley muttered.

“I didn’t tell you.” Aziraphale said pointedly, “As I said, you didn’t hear it from me.”

Aziraphale placed the entire cost of the meal on the table in gold coins, the angel unable to determine if they were real or created by the demon himself but the still drunk demon smiled charmingly at the server, whispering something at the mortal that made them burn hotter.

Crowley took this as code for him to leave, he walked out of the restaurant not before shooting a curious gaze back to the demon but feeling a sudden chill at how lucid those goat eyes were watching him as his mouth fell to the juncture of the human’s neck.

* * *

Aziraphale idly stroked up and down the back of the human he took to bed – the itch that plagues him constantly ever since he fell was still there but the queasiness that befell him after such a night of decadence gave him some reprieve from the overwhelming need that filled his mortal body, a hand dropped from the human to the gnarled wound where his stomach was. A mix between a sword and a burn wound caused a couple of curious glances and disgusted looks – his simple bed partner traced it in some sort of worship and reverence.

* * *

_“You believe you are above the Almighty.” Lucifer bellowed at the other, the others hand held Aziraphale’s own sword in his grasp, never mind the other was a higher rank than the archangel – he still demanded respect, especially with how he caught the Aziraphale attempting to steal a seed of tree of knowledge, and plant it elsewhere in the world other than Eden._

_He gave it up, he didn’t want to fight the other – he just needed Lucifer to understand._

_“No, I believe good and evil is not just black and white – forbidding that knowledge…is not right.” The Principality answered, “Why should we ban the knowledge of good and evil from the humans, Michael believed morality is fluid too– “Aziraphale froze, his own blade that had been taken from him was plunged into his gut at the mere mention of Michael._

_Bringing up Morning-star's twin was a bad move, especially with the Fall so fresh in their minds._

_The viciousness and suddenness of the action stunned the other angels and even Lucifer who leap back, Aziraphale just felt the crawling flames burn his robes and blacken skin - the other staggered back, close to the edge of heaven and gave one last look to Lucifer before he also fell._

_When Aziraphale woke, he was in the desert in the outskirts of Eden – the heavenly blade wounding him heavily, his angelic body was forced to shift into a horned and black furred beast during the fall. Blood dripping from where the blade stabbed though – it took a couple of more weeks before the newly fallen angel got his bearings and a form with hands at least._

_It took him a couple of more days before he deemed himself strong enough to pull out the sword from the sheath of his gut, the heavenly fire stung like anything now – but perhaps it was because it was in his body for a long time but the ruby red flames seemed to change, it felt alive and strange._

_He watched from the desert, seething in the cave he hid in during the burning hot days – he knew he should attempt to go to Hell, somehow get settled in but the rage he was feeling… the way the other angels treated him for daring to voice his opinion._

_Treating him like a monster or a freak, just because he had different ideas…how dare they._

_Well, if they want a monster – they can very well have one._

_It was months waiting in the desert, the humans had succumbed to the temptation of the tree of knowledge anyway – of course, and god had sent them out in the waste that Aziraphale walked. The humans had run afoul of a lion, god didn’t step in – Aziraphale appeared in the guise he had been punished with and killed the lion._

_The humans were terrified and amazed at the tall imposing figure that had torn the lion apart with his bare claws – emerging from the desert like an unspeakable beast, he was a being of god no longer and he wanted the new humans to know that._

_**“Such a frightful thing, for the Almighty to abandon those she loved so dearly…”** It was odd to hear his voice, booming and dark but Aziraphale remembered he changed his form to make an impression, good and bad – a healthy dose of the grey area that neither heaven or hell liked to tread though._

_Aziraphale felt his horizontal silted blue eyes land on the pregnant swell of Eve’s belly._

_**“How cruel of a mother to send a fellow mother in the wild with no protection but your bare hands…”** Aziraphale began, squatting down from his impressive height – Adam had snapped away from being a gaping fish to attempting to shield his mate._

_Aziraphale took the sword, now almost toy size compared to his bulk – offering the sword to Adam, the heavenly flame now a bluish tint, its sheath made it no longer holy nor was it demonic._

_**“This sword will be used to protect what matters most.”** Was all Aziraphale said before returning to the depths of the desert, he vaguely remembered he didn’t give them his name – but humans are creative creatures, he will allow them to refer to him however they preferred._

* * *

Aziraphale grinned at the slighter mortal, and turn his gaze to the scale he had stolen from the angel he shared supper with – he had placed a demonic seal on it to shut it up, a simple but annoying device. But he couldn’t have that delightful angel catch on whom he had dined with exactly – guess he could count his lucky stars that he just wanted to be dressed ‘casually’ for the indulgent party on of the corrupt senators invited him to. Gabriel was going to be pissed when his own men returning to hell, sent back by a sudden angel attack – yeah, the other was probably going to demand why he wasn’t in attendance in the meeting.

He just had better, more fun things to do – meeting in the catacombs was such a stupid, Gabriel thing to do anyway. Uriel agreed with him anyway.

* * *

“The meeting of demons was ambushed successfully, however the demon the humans call Faunus was nowhere to be found.” Hastur popped up suddenly, Crowley was trying not to wince with the drink induced headache his body suffered though.

“Lucifer offers his commendation, and you can consider your punishment has been reduced.”

“Oh joy.” Crowley groaned, just wanting to succumb to sleep.

“How did you find out about the occult meeting…” Hastur quires, not quite believing the other decided to stumble upon a meeting of demons in the catacombs of Rome.

“That scale, worked a treat Hastur.” Crowley grinned.

“The scale?” The Power repeated ludicrously.

“Yep” Crowley said, nodding slowly.

“That’s odd then, I had tuned it to Faunus’s unique occult signature – truth be told, it should’ve been possible for it to even react to other demons besides just causing a bleep.” Hastur hummed thoughtfully, not seeing the paling of Crowley’s face, “Shame that you lost the scale – I would love to have seen what caused the error.”

“Shame…” Crowley muttered quietly, earning a sharp clap to his shoulder.

“Keep this up, and we can put the whole apple episode behind us.” Hastur said cheerfully, an emotion the other rarely shown with the healer of heaven.

The sound of bells finally sounded when Hastur left in the usual flash of light, and Crowley wanted to curl up in a ball and begin to have his much over-due panic attack.

* * *

TBC?

leave a comment and kudos if you liked :)

just an idea on reverse omens, aziraphale's demon form has shown up in a lot of religions - all with the similar goat like tendencies. He looks like Baphomet as a point of reference and refers to himself as such, content on letting the humans give him different names throughout history. He has been known as Pan, Faunus, Ammon, the goat of mendes or lord of mendes, and Cernunnos. Baphomet, while is used as a satanic symbol symbolizes the combination of opposites (good, evil, the male, the female ect) 

King of France tortured the Templar's till they said they followed Baphomet.


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